Change Was Good… This Isn’t What I Meant

Letter from Inside #2:

28 MAR 2026 → 29 MAR 2026

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28 MAR 2026

Hey friends! ♡

So I’m better at writing in my book, because when there nothing to reply too, it is more diary style, but as its the weekend, I can diary in a 4 page letter that can be shared with my people. With that said, its getting hotter, at least at night the heat is okay, but in the day we are sat in the dining hall from 9-4pm. I miss my job and my life of studying. I am so used to missing people, I am not materialistic, but I love to work, eat, have fun. I love my lifestyle as a whole. Being in prison makes me realise exactly what I miss, because one thing I will say, is I don’t miss my phone like how you would if you lost it, or left it at home by accident or when your phone dies, or breaks lol. I think when I said about 1 1/2 years ago “I want a nokia brick phone” yeah, I’ll be getting one for life.

I miss the tungae (music, DJ, speakers). As each day goes by, I really realise how much a 15 min visit can save ones life. I’m black British, often mistaken for African or just yeh. Here people think they are T-Bag or Scofield lol. So today it is our rooms turn to clean the dining room. Yay… NOT. Lol, it’s good, honestly better than doing fuck all. Can’t believe I just swore line that, sorry reader (cover eyes) I never really know whats going on baby Izzy gets scared, but toddler Izzy just wants to laugh lol. Smokes are coin here, but I just sit back and watch life unfold. At 3pm I will begin to mop, you’ll be pleased to know (I forgot what I was gonna say) oh I remember, I’m on page 58 of A4 book page. Are you guys with me, picture this 60+ people, yellow tops, sleeping at the table, eating, SWEATING. Mixture, vision. See the vision, smell the sweat in the cigarette filled air well a bit.

Had dinner 4PM, I made a fillet of fish, I really need to stop eating bread. 4 day no &  SHIT - TO MUCH INFO LOL.

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 26 MAR 2023

I will explain later but for now, today we also deep cleaned the room. I was sweating so much, how can I ever wash my hair, time simply doesn’t work for me. Saturday night cleaning sesh, not a rave lol, no music ovs. So in other news, tomorrow (Sunday 29th Mar) we will move rooms, many are sad but change is good, I’ll be back with my girl, I pray. I feel tension always, I simply think its because I don’t speak the language, but if I’m honest, my English is getting bad. I am constantly confused on a good day its funny but on a bad day, it will raise internal alarms. I would like to come out of here being able to speak cantonese or Tagalog (friend is Fili).

I think prison might just be one of the most cringe experiences now I listen to everyone singing the same song of course I don’t know and can’t hear, no radio, and I still don’t know the language obviously. This place is a movie, it has been for years now. The fact I can say that is wild.

But maybe I’m an undie, or just like a pigeon CCTV, CAMCORDER type thing. I’m seeing the world behind bars, on bail, before jail, everything. When I said I was going travelling THIS IS NOT WHAT I MEANT. I got a real different experience dudes. I can defo report back via real life, but also a 3 part book mate. Separately, enough about me, how is everyone, please reply LOL. It can just be typing AS I KNOW, HANDWRITTEN, is super intense. My hand is hench. So hench lol.

I take some meds to sleep but genuinely within 1 hour, I’m goneee! Not sure how but the diazepam didn’t do this. I sleep now, but Lord do I dream. They can just be so intense and so vivid, I remember them as if they are real. Prison has changed me. I came in with like a “teardrop scar on my face lol. I think people are a bit like ‘: with me or by me. Plus, I’m black lol. Respected but I was scared to get in to the real prison. But here I am “striving” LOL, get me out though. Experience nearly over. soon wake up from it all.

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29/25 MAR 2023

I used to be happy and this morning just became bad, but I pray it is a positive thing for my friend but today we moved rooms and we are together, but in the same breath we found out she is going to Lo Wo Prison I was more than and I am fucking heart broken never had a feeling quite like this.

I guess I don’t even know, my weekend letter turned, I mean I’m okay but when I said change was good this isn’t what I meant. I cried so much today, I even pooped but I genuinely think it was because she was there.

You guys know me, I don’t do ‘cliques’ and shit, I just want peace not beef.

I am non-stop praying, chanting, writing and just yeah. I don’t feel comfortable to wash my hair alone, so one last time with my best friend here right now gonna go wash and then cry and then pray together, I hope we are both free, you guys would love her, I’m gonna bring her to London, to a festival or concert and at our house.

Guys I miss you so much, hold it down. Stay Safe. Stay Healthy. Take Care.

With Love Isabel Rose xxx